- 74 - was once again completely deflated on that day. I ran around the flat crying and talking out loud to myself. I constantly chided myself about possibly not having done enough for him or that I should possibly have given him even more. In any case, I was once again completely despondent. I went to the bathroom and started to clean the washbasin. Whilst doing this, I cried and talked loudly to myself. Suddenly, it was as if he stood right next to me, he interrupted me with a loud and annoyed voice. He said: ‘Why don’t you stop with this! Don’t you think that I will have forgiven you by now after nine months? Everything will turn out fine,’ He then remained silent. I stood there as if paralysed and stared into the mirror. I accurately remember that the voice talked either in or next to my body on the left side. In any case, it was very close, so close in fact that it seemed that he talked within the left side of my body. I had become very calm. I suddenly became aware that he was just as sad and angry when alive if I cried and blamed myself for things that were not justified at all. I only wanted the very best for him when he was alive. When I start to grief, I always think about this and I hope that he is now happy with me. But I will never forget him in spite of this.” On page 126 of this book, I already extensively reported about the British journalist William T. Stead who lost his life when the Titanic went down. After his death, he expressed himself through his psychically gifted daughter and he also talked about the difficulties he had with his first transmission. He felt the distress of his relatives, he also felt hindered by their grief and he was initially pleased to be able to make himself known through a stranger. He said (22, P. 48): “As I said, I came quite often and I tried to send my messages to my home in various ways. I sometimes succeeded and sometimes I did not. One bears co-responsibility over here in regards to success or failure of communication. It depends a lot on the work of other otherworldly souls. Whenever I succeed, I help others. If things went awry I asked for help and I received it, particularly because I had sacrificed a lot of time studying the science of the hereafter whilst on Earth. I would like to tell you now how I managed to get my messages through and how I was able to ascertain that I had succeeded. We had learned all that was necessary to make closer contact with Earth. I was naturally not in a position to do this by myself and this is why I had a helper whom I will call ‘official’ here. He accompanied me during my first attempt. We therefore returned to Earth. In the room we visited we found two or three people who excitedly discussed the terrible accident of the sinking of the ‘Titanic’ and the seemingly unlikely fact that a number of people had been rescued. They then held a spiritistic meeting and the official showed me how I could make myself noticeable. The required energy for this is concentrated thought. I therefore had to try to put myself in their place. I now imagined myself standing in the middle of the room in physical form, whilst a strong beam of light shines on me. This is the image that I had to hold fast within me and most intensively concentrate upon: I was here and the terrestrials present had to become aware of this! Initially I did not succeed, but after a few vain attempts my eager endeavours were crowned with success. The sensitive member at the meeting actually saw me! Only my face to begin with, but that was due to me, because the image of myself that I had mentally imagined only included my face. I simply concentrated on something of myself that they would likely recognise. I then sent a mental message in the same way. I placed myself next to the medium and concentrated on a short sentence that a slowly and deliberately repeated out loud. I practised this under constant, intensive concentration until the medium started to voice parts of the sentence. This allowed me to recognise that I had finally succeeded and I must admit that I found this relatively easy. Well, I did know the peculiarities of the people attending this meeting and the conditions in the séance room. But many of those that did not bring such comprehensive ‘expert knowledge’ with them from their terrestrial life could not have made any impression on the séance participants during their first attempt. None of the terrestrial members of my family were present during the above described meeting. They would probably have made any contact impossible at that time, because I would have felt their distress about my sudden death too powerfully and I would not have been able to objectively concentrate on making contact. It was possible here – because the whole atmosphere was
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