Chapter 1 - Personal experiences in the field of spiritual apparitions

- 12 - Raising the hands to bless, like the day before, he spoke the words: “May God watch over you! May God give you the strength to fulfil his will! Amen. – Good day!” The young man once again collapsed forwards and regained his consciousness within a few moments. He knew nothing about anything that had taken place. I had to relinquish all attempts to find a natural explanation as inadequate. They did not suffice to even make a small portion of what I experienced comprehensible. Something that affected me the most, I would like to say, captured me inside with an irresistible force, was the quiet clarity and convincing consistency of what I had heard for the first time. Only the truth could have such an effect. Even if I had tried, I would not have been able to extract myself from its effect. • A lot of things in the Bible that had been beyond my understanding were now clear to me. I was actually only at the beginning. A complete lecture about all the coherences had been promised to me. All I had to do was to accept the offer. Even more! I should not be satisfied with what I heard here. In order to be sure, I was supposed to draw from another source, one that was independent from this source. I was asked to simply congregate with simple, inexperienced people from the land, people that had no inkling of “Spiritism”, and this in a kind of church service according to the example of the early Christians, far from all outside influences – in my own parish. Should I really risk this? What would people say? I noticed how a feeling of fear of people started to well up in me. – Wouldn’t my own parishioners have to think that I am mentally deranged if I undertook something like this? – What if the ecumenical authority caught wind of it, would it cost me my position? A severe battle raged within me. Which way should I decide? I sensed that I had to make a decision now. Never in my life have I prayed to God with such ardency as in those days. I finally decided to abide by the given instructions by making the greatest personal sacrifices, even if it meant the loss of my position and my economical existence. The decision had been made! An inner calmness followed after and I looked towards the things that were ahead of me with great confidence.