- 12 - would lend a hand. Whether she would like to do the washing up whilst she will arrange for the children to have their afternoon nap, or whether she would prefer to do the ironing (saying she would dearly like to learn how men’s shirts are correctly ironed) or whether she would consider cooking her son’s favourite meal (once again saying that she would like to see how it was correctly cooked)… Ergo: Include the old lady in the housekeeping and always express gratitude for her help and her experience in such matters. Would the young mother enjoy an hour’s rest? Send granny for a walk with the bawling child in a pram. Doesn’t she have lots of experience with children? Even mention a cupboard that is in dire need of being re-organised, something she would like to do with the perfect mother-in-law, as she surely knows how things are best sorted. Always mention how indispensable her visit actually is. The mother-in-law will then depart tired and in need of a rest, but with the good feeling of having been useful and loved. Her opinion of her daughter-in-law will then have fundamentally changed, the dear child, ever ready to learn and so assiduous. If she gets the impression that keeping house with little children is too arduous at her age, she will probably depart earlier the next time around. There is another type of mother-in-law, one that likes to start intrigues. The young couple must in that case be prepared to find out that the all their relations found to their horror that the dear motherin-law’s readiness to help was terribly and recklessly abused. Only a telephone conversation will help in this case, one that tells dear mother-in-law the boundaries: Not like this! Not with us! The emphasis is on us! If dear mother-in-law is not prepared to stop the intrigue in it tracks or reverse its course, the young couple might be forced to do without her endeavours to help in the future in order to avoid such evil gossip. The relations are naturally informed in writing about why they had to take such measures. Please remember: • Energy vampires needs a lot of love, affection and understanding to help them change their behaviour. Give them as much as possible of this without feeling deflated after. It is important that you stick with your new position and that you do not give in. The inexhaustible variety of these conflicts make it difficult for me to deal with numerous everyday situations. But I am certain that many amongst you will look at your own daily situations from a new angle. To ask a psychologist or a therapist you trust for advice has its advantages, it helps to shine a light on your own patterns of behaviour thereby helping you to understand yourself and also others. • To be able to establish and maintain our personal connection to God and his life sustaining cosmic energies is a wonderful thing, it secures our access on a spiritual level where life sustaining energies are at our disposal at inexhaustible amounts. For us to endeavour to establish energetic, harmonious relationships is essential so that our energy levels and that of all other involved parties can constantly grow through this relationship. * * * * * * *
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